King of Excellent (according to Scaryduck)

Saturday, July 24

"Hobson's letter I no more thought of pursuing the unicorn than of attempting the passage of the North Sea"
Don't you love spam? This was sent to me, with the addition of a 'herbal' performance enhancer website link. I have a good email filter, a superb program called Mailwasher Pro. The program talks to such companies as SpamCop and picks out spam, then bounces it for you. If it gets repeated attacks it can blacklist the "from" address, and even then repeated attacks mean the domain or service provider gets blacklisted. The really nice thing is you can see the email before you download it onto your PC. This is a godsend when it comes to viruses (virii?), and means that you don't have your virus checker saying "you have a virus" 24 times when you get an infected email.

Last night was a joy to behold for me. I saw a favourite all time comedian of mine was on. My father was always a fan of Tommy Cooper, the comic genius of the 70's. In 1995 I had the misfortune of seeing a comedian on TV called Tim Vine. He tells jokes on par with Tommy Cooper, and even sometimes gets accused of stealing some of his jokes. The fact is he tells them so quickly, you don't get time to stop laughing. He prides himself on the fact he tells on average 10 jokes a minute, and not just any jokes. These jokes are genuinely funny, mostly based around bad puns. Below are some of my favourite lines of his...

I went to the dentist. He said "Say Aaah." I said "Why?" He said "My dog's died.'"

 I rang up my local swimming baths. I said 'Is that the local swimming baths?' He said 'It depends where you're calling from.'

"Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Chan-Chu. But I think it's Colin."

I went to Millets and said 'I want to buy a tent.' He said 'To camp?', I said [butchly] 'Sorry, I want to buy a tent.' I said 'I also want to buy a caravan.' He said 'Camper?' I said [campily] 'Make your mind up.'

The list can go on, but I won't bore you. I just found out today he's recording a video. He did the recording on Thursday, and if I'd known I would have paid for tickets to go and see him. Instead I will have to make do with the video when it comes out.