King of Excellent (according to Scaryduck)

Tuesday, October 19

For those uneducated, an introduction to the Haynes Manual...

This is my take on the delights of the Haynes Manual. I have read, re-read sworn at and bowed to the knowledge of this book in the past 3 days.

Front Steering Knuckle
removal and refitting

(3 spanners out of 5, and yes I must be one of them!)

1. Firmly apply the parking brake, then jack up the front of the vehicle and support it on axle stands. Remove the relevant front roadwheel.

Okay, where's those axle stands? Oh fuck, Adrian's still got 'em. Bugger it. Oh well... How the hell am I suppose to jack up the front when it seems to be made entirely of plastic?

2. If the steering knuckle is to be renewed, remove the hub assembly as described in section 3.

Do you think I am doing this for fun??? Of course I want to renew the knuckle, tosspot! As for the hub, stuff that for a laugh, I can work around it.

3. If the steering knuckle assembly is to be refitted, slacken and remove the two bolts securing the brake caliper mounting bracket to the knuckle then slide the caliper assembly off the disc. Note: Discard the caliper bolts, new ones must be used on refitting. Using a piece of wire or string, tie the caliper to the front suspension coil spring.

NOW you tell me I need new bolts... The car is up on a jack, front brakes in bits, and you tell me I need new bolts??? The bastard caliper just fell on the floor, and broke the brake fluid pipe. Okay, so I needed wire. You didn't say what gauge. The bastard wire broke.

4. Slacken and remove the nut securing the steering rod balljoint to the steering knuckle, and release the balljoint tapered shank using a balljoint separator.

Shouldn't that be unscrew the nut, and lay into the poxy bolt with the largest hammer to undo it from the steering knuckle. 2 hours!! 2 fuckin' hours!!!! What removal tool? Can I get one today, with my car off the road, in bits on my drive? You make it sound like I should have an entire Halfords next door (not that they'd have the tool anyway).

5. Whilst the steering knuckle is removed it will be necessary to support the lower arm. Do this by positioning a jack and block of wood underneath the arm and raising the jack to support the arm.

Okay, where's that jack? Doh! It's holding up the car!

6. Slacken and remove the two lower bolts securing the strut to the shock absorber.

Where's that WD40? Fuck... I've run out. maybe if I hold it close enough the dribble coming out will be enough. Sod it, just rounded the head off. Do I really need to undo these???

7. Free the steering knuckle from the lower arm balljoint and remove it from the vehicle. Inspect the knuckle for signs of wear or damage and renew as necessary.

Why else am I sat on my drive on a Tuesday afternoon, up to my elbows in grease and rust, if it doesn't need renewing?

Still all done now. The incredible thing is not one of a dozen garages in the immediate area wanted to do it. If I had the right tools it would have taken me an hour at most. As it stood, It took me four hours, and numerous layers of skin.

I'll stick to PCs I think.