URGENT VIRUS NOTICE
There is a dangerous virus being passed electronically, orally and by hand.
This virus is called "work". If you receive work from any of your colleagues, your boss or anyone else via any means do not touch it. This virus will wipe out your private life completely. If you should come into contact with work put your jacket on and take 2 good friends to the nearest pub.
Purchase the antidote known as "Wine". The quickest acting is called Chardonnay but this is only available for those who can afford it, the voluntary sector equivalent is Lambrusco. Take the antidote repeatedly until work has been completely eliminated from your system.
Update 28-01-05: after extensive testing it has been concluded that beer may be substituted for wine but may require a more generous application
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