King of Excellent (according to Scaryduck)

Monday, March 13

This beggars belief

Thanks to Mosh for this one…

A lady died this past January, and Citibank billed her for February and
March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and then added late
fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00, now is
somewhere around $60.00. A family member placed a call to Citibank.

Family Member: “I am calling to tell you she died in January."

Citibank: “The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still
apply."

Family Member: “Maybe, you should turn it over to collections."

Citibank: “Since it is two months past due, it already has been."

Family Member: “So, what will they do when they find out she isdead?"

Citibank: “Either report her account to the frauds division or report her
to the credit bureau, maybe both!"

Family Member: "Do you think God will be mad at her?"

Citibank: “Excuse me?"

Family Member: “Did you just get what I was telling you – the part about
her being dead?"

Citibank: “Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor."

(Supervisor gets on the phone.)

Family Member: “I’m calling to tell you, she died in January."

Citibank: “The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still
apply."

Family Member: “You mean you want to collect from her estate?"

Citibank: (Stammer) "Are you her lawyer?"

Family Member: "No, I'm her great nephew."

(Lawyer info given)

Citibank: “Could you fax us a certificate of death?"

Family Member: “Sure."

(Fax number is given)

After they get the fax, Citibank: “Our system just isn't set up for death.
I don’t know what more I can do to help."

Family Member: “Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just
keep billing her. I don't think she will care."

Citibank: “Well, the late fees and charges do still apply."

Family Member: “Would you like her new billing address?"

Citibank: “That might help."

Family Member: “Odessa Memorial Cemetery, Highway 129, Plot Number
69."

Citibank: “Sir, that's a cemetery!"

Family Member: “What do you do with dead people on your planet?"