King of Excellent (according to Scaryduck)

Tuesday, April 25

The truth about programmers

A computer programmer goes missing from work for over a week. Finally someone notices and calls the police. They break down the door of his flat where they find him dead in the shower, an empty bottle of shampoo next to his body. The programmer seems to have died from a combination of exposure and exhaustion. The puzzle is explained when the police read the instructions on the shampoo bottle, "Wet Hair. Apply Shampoo. Rinse. Repeat"

A Microsoft support technician goes to a firing range. He shoots ten bullets at the target 50 yards away. The supervisors check the target and see that there's not even a single hit. They shout to him that he missed completely and then the technician tells them to recheck, and get the same answer. He then aims the gun at his finger and shoots, blasting it off. He shouts back, “its working fine here! The problem must be at your end!”

Three female friends are comparing their sex lives. The first says, “My husband is an architect. Our love making has power, form and function.” The second says, “My husband is an artist. Our love making has passion, emotion and vision.” The third woman says, “My husband works for Microsoft. When we make love he sits at the end of the bed in the dark telling me how great it will be when we finally get started.”