King of Excellent (according to Scaryduck)

Tuesday, July 18

Animal Cruelty

Scaryduck's regaled a tale of animal cruelty, and so I thought I'd reprint my tale that I posted previously on B3ta.

Whilst working for a certain fruit machine developers, we were looking into the effects of static and piezo devices on the fruit machine. Various devices were developed to *zap* the machines to see how much damage could be done to them, and if money could ever be made to pour out of the front.

These included such delightful objects like portable ionisers (crap), electric lighters (much better) and the mother of all zappers I came up with; an old flash gun from my camera, with the bulb broken and the two metal prongs inside extended to contact the surface to be zapped. One of the main testers of the machine asked if he could borrow this for some extracurricular activity that weekend (zapping rival machines around Shrewsbury) and proceded to leave it at home whilst he went out to get hammered.

Well it's his fault for leaving it home when he plans on going out and getting drunk.

Well it's his fault for bringing his mates home after the obligatory curry and promising a few more beers and a film when they get in.

Well it's his fault for leaving my "Taser on steriods" on his coffee table.

So thats the point where he decides he's gonna show his mates how well it works on his dog.

Yes, he did. Yes it did. One smoking, dead dog later, and a need for disinfecting the carpet after the little puddle left by said dog being electrocuted. He was so upset he threw a wobbly, or more like my master zapper against the wall, so I never saw it again. Twunt. But my how I laughed the following Monday when he told me all about it. He didn't seem to find it as funny, no idea why.