King of Excellent (according to Scaryduck)

Friday, January 26

The letter

Whilst sitting at home, still in pain, I decided I'd find or at least transcript a piece made by the great Stephen Fry some 20 years ago. The piece was a monologue, reading a letter written by a barrister who had the misfortune to visit Count Dracula. It has some truly inspiring word play which to this day I use on people, and is completely timeless.

Imagine my delight when I actually found a copy of the original video, but unfortunately it is the shortened version, missing out such gems as "The wind whistled all through the night, and other Welsh hymns" and "I stooped to pick a buttercup, why people leave their buttocks lying around I'll never know."

Other prizes include:
  • "What blood type are you?" "A," I replied. "I said what blood type are you?" "O," I said, "B."
  • The man had an L-I-M-P. That's a pronounced limp.
  • I couldn't see myself spending a month in a house without mirrors.
  • (and my personal favourite) The man was either mad or both.
The letter (5mb windows media format)