King of Excellent (according to Scaryduck)

Sunday, March 11

The differences between cats and dogs.

Apart from the obvious, I thought I'd throw in some observations...
  • You get a dog a bed, it'll sleep in it. You get a cat a bed, it'll sleep everywhere else but it.
  • You get a dog a toy, they'll play with it. You get a cat a toy, they'll wonder how it helps them hunt.
  • You give a dog food, it'll clean the bowl in minutes. You give a cat food, it'll ask why you're giving this crap again.
  • You take a dog outside, it'll run off. You take a cat outside, it'll sniff everything before deciding it wants more food.
  • Your postman delivers a letter. The dog will warn the postman off, telling him not to return or at least break in. The cat might stir from the slumber.
  • You're putting up a shelf. The dog says "I don't know what you're doing but it's terribly clever." The cat will say "Nah, you want to use a plumb bob, and pine's a mistake."
  • You leave for work. The dog says "Come back and play with me." The cat says "oh thank God, now for some serious Zzzzz's"
  • You introduce a dog to a cat, and the dog will say "let's play." The cat will say "You can f**k off!!"