Whilst I can, before my 3-day foray into foreign waters*.
A few insights into laws, that shouldn't be, and what I feel could contravene them.
It is illegal to die in the British Houses of Parliament.
(What about just heavily asleep?)
It is an act of treason to place a postage stamp bearing the British monarch upside down.
(and probably not good to post the British Monarch upside down.)
In France, it is forbidden to call a pig Napoleon.
(I called my ex Napoleon. If she's reading, now she knows why.)
In Alabama, it is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while driving a vehicle.
(I think that law should stand in most countries.)
In Ohio, it is against state law to get a fish drunk.
In the UK, a pregnant woman can legally relieve herself anywhere she wants – even, if she so requests, in a policeman’s helmet.
(I'm tempted just to get pregnant now. Oh, and pregnant women get away with everything, even seat belt laws...)
In Miami, Florida, it is illegal to skateboard in a police station. (Especially whilst firing an Uzi)
In Indonesia, the penalty for masturbation is decapitation. ("Don't lose your head.")
In England, all men over the age of 14 must carry out two hours of longbow practice a day. (Longbow, or Strongbow?)
In San Salvador, drunk drivers can be punished by death before a firing squad. (And I thought the UK was harsh!)
In Florida, unmarried women who parachute on Sundays can be jailed. (or subjected to a date with my father.)
In Kentucky, it is illegal to carry a concealed weapon more than six-feet long. (That's me out then.)
In Chester, England, Welshmen are banned from entering the city before sunrise and from staying after sunset. (Doesn't stop the scousers though, does it.)
In the city of York, it is legal to murder a Scotsman within the ancient city walls, but only if he is carrying a bow and arrow. (Sounds fair.)
In Vermont, women must obtain written permission from their husbands to wear false teeth.
(Unless they're parachuting in Florida.)
See you on Friday!
That Donald Trump handshake gif
5 weeks ago