King of Excellent (according to Scaryduck)

Friday, September 28

Summer, winter, whatever happened to autumn

Now global warming might explain this. When I was a child, we had a season called Autumn.

A - U - T - U - M - N.

In foreign lands it is called Fall.

F - A - L - L.

Presumably the foreigners thought it easier to remember because that's what the leaves do. I remember it as a time where leaves would turn brown, evacuate themselves from the trees, and kids would set about having fights with or diving into piles of leaves. You'd shuffle down the street, making train tracks in the new floor covering.

Last week, being a mild September, we were enjoying 19c, warm sunshine, and the sunroof was still being opened on the car.

This week, being late September, we are not enjoying fuckinbastardcold nights at -2c, ground frost every morning, and the need to turn the heating on.

In fact my body despises it. On Wednesday night I felt okay one minute, the next I was shivering. In fact I has having a positive 8.5 on the rikter scale, and after an hour of sitting on the 2kw fan heater, I realised the only way to warm up was to go to bed. I laid shivering for an hour, before the shivering stopped. Still cold, and now as all my joints swelled, I fell into a fitful slumber. I woke up half an hour later, unable to move. Both shoulders were completely unable to function, and without them I was unable to move in bed. I rolled out of bed with great difficulty, and grabbed two paracetamol, two ibuprofen, and a tube of ibuprofen gel for my shoulders.

Then the bastard shivering came back. I went for a pee, and for once my lack of aim on the toilet was excusable. Still, the floor's clean now. I fell (literally) back into bed and off to slumberland again. Waking another hour later, and I thought I was drowning. The shivering had stopped, but the body's temperature had gone through the roof, and now I was sweating. I remember actually grabbing a towel to dry my hair. Several pints of water were swallowed, presumably to replace fluids lost, and I fell back asleep.

Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but surely changes in temperature shouldn't make a man feel like this?