- The extra darkness means that life as a crook is prosperous.
- Prostitutes are to be found springing up everywhere, wearing nothing but fishnet stockings and bleating quietly from the corners of their fields.
- The streetlights aren't having every other one turned off, but every two or three. This means the areas that have few lights now look like the insides of my pants (normally damp and cold, but very very dark).
- The roads, which are confusing enough during a bright, sunny day in August (the last time was about 1954) are now not only confusing, but strangely black coloured.
- Every man and his anorak are now converging on the area so they can stargaze without the need for special filters on their telescopes.
- Every man and his wellies are now converging on the area so they can enjoy the local talent and the thrill of wool under the foreskin.
Donald Trump FACTS!
10 months ago