- MSN Messenger - The choice of kiddies and perverts all over the world. Chosen for it's ease of use, and ability to send fake pictures easily.
- Outlook Express - The email program supplied with Windoze. Famous for crashing halfway through composing that life-saving email, or losing all your contacts. Again.
- AOL Instant Messenger - A thinly disguised clone of MSN, this allows AOL users to interact with each other. Best used for moaning about AOL's software crashing, or losing your emails.
- Internet Explorer - The web's most popular browser. Best used if you want Mr. Chong of Thailand to know your credit card details or if you have a bank account you want everyone to help themselves to.
- Yahoo Messenger - Yes, people still use it. No, no idea why.
- Outlook - Arrrrrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhhhhh.
- Mozilla Firefox / Thunderbird - Publicly available (aka free) versions of a browser and an email client. Tries to copy Microsoft. Does a better job.
- Skype - The new kid on the block. Allows you to make telephone calls worldwide, and to see the person the other end. Likes to crash. Likes to use all your processor's ability. Likes to make everything else run slow.
- Mac Users - You have Safari and mail. None of the above applies. You have too much money.
The oldest Aitch is 65 today, so please to be mentioning him and his old wisened way, and sending cake.