The beginner's guide to electricity

Today and tomorrow I will be mostly having electricians in, so in honour of this prestigious event, I though I'd do a beginner's guide just for them.

• We'll be here at 8am sharp on Monday morning - so drink all the tea you can, because you'll have no way to boil the kettle after then.
• Is it live? - Hang on, I'll find out.
  
• Where would you like the new sockets? - Anywhere that's not easily accessible or obvious would be good.
• What's plugged into here? - HOW MANY 4 WAYS HAVE YOU GOT PLUGGED IN?!?!?!
• Here, lick this - Don't.
• We'll only turn off the power for a couple of hours. - Expect it to be like the dark ages for the next week.
• What's that smell? - Not good.

Please to be supplying your own. (supply... geddit?)