King of Excellent (according to Scaryduck)

Wednesday, May 4

On guitar hero heroes

The novelty factor of games is a good thing. The home entertainment system had become reliant on people being able to press 12 buttons at once, in the right order, with only 10 fingers. Admittedly, over the years, other steps have been taken. I remember a light pen by Maplin, in the form of a kit. It required an empty bic biro as the housing, but would work with both the Spectrum, Commodore 64 and Amstrad. Did it take off for gaming? What do you think. There was a mouse, which was a slightly different direction, and the joystick was still a mainstay, but things had to change. Nintendo released a light gun, which with games like Duck Hunt meant you could shoot your targets. It was also easy just to walk up to the screen, and shoot at point blank range. The advent of the Wii saw motion capture and 3D control, and this was the start of a revolution. Sony, crapping themselves by the release of this groundbreaking technology, had to do something, and quickly. So, they released Guitar Hero, with real (but slightly smaller) guitar. It has a bit you pluck, and 5 buttons on the neck to simulate the strings, and a whammy bar so you can do your best Hendrix impressions. Inside it also has a mercury switch, so it can tell the direction of the guitar. This means that anybody can become a budding Slash or Sting, just by playing along to their favourite rock tracks.
I say anybody. I, erm, can't. I'm crap on a whole new level of crap, having the dexterity of a concrete block and the clumsiness to boot. TDT isn't much better, but she knew the tracks which helped, and so she was enjoying playing along. And then along came Ianymeany. The conversation was simple enough.
"We have this great new game you'd like. It has music by ACDC and everything" said TDT.
"What do you do?" asked Iany.
"Well, you play the guitar. You get to join in, and follow the notes on the screen." said I.
"Maybe I'll pop up later" said Iany, rather unenthusiastically.
He came up. The first track he played, he completed with 91% of notes. The second track was 96%. He then set about, playing each and every track. After about 20 songs (and 6 hours), he started to struggle. TDT and I were mumbling under our breath. And that leads me to this week's video. 3 hours in, and we were sat there, like rabbits in headlights, completely gobsmacked at his natural ability. So, here he is. Note the relaxed posture. The fag in the mouth, the barely moving, the unflappability. He makes us sick. No, really, he does. (We're not jealous or anything)