King of Excellent (according to Scaryduck)

Friday, December 22


I watched with interest yesterday evening at how the whole of the UK (except us) was plunged into a thick mire of fog, and the chaos that ensued at airports caused people to panic about getting to their holiday destinations. The British Airports Authority, based in Heathrow, decided it was safest to cancel all domestic flights. Now, don't get me wrong, this is a minor inconvenience. If the UK was some 3000 mile wide continent, then this would be a complete pain, but the reality was that you can get from Lands End to John 'o' Groats in one day. Admittedly, on Virgin Trains, this would actually take 4.5 months, but don't use a Virgin Train. People are seen on the BBC national news, moaning about how the 55 minute flight to Edinburgh's been cancelled and they are facing a 10 hour coach journey to be home in time for Christmas.

Ahhh, diddums.

Meanwhile, on the news, they then head to other major airports around the UK. First they head over to Cardiff.

"So, tell us, how are things in Cardiff this evening?" the newscaster asks.

"Not too bad," replies the reporter. "Flights have been cancelled, but people have been phoning the airport in advance to check on their flights. When they've been told they've been cancelled, they've stayed home and made alternative arrangements."

Remarkable calmness from the country that wanted to lynch Anne Robinson for saying Wales is a shithole. Even though it is.

Back to the main studio, and the newscaster then prompts Angus McScottish, a reporter in Glasgow Airport.

"We've heard how calm it is in Wales now Angus, how are things up there?"

"Well obviously it's not as bad in WALES as it is in SCOTLAND. We think it's daft that the BAA cancel flights to SCOTLAND. Obviously this is because the BAA are in ENGLAND, and they really don't appreciate that our SCOTTISH airports work in much better conditions then the ENGLISH ones. Basically, the fog is the Sassenachs fault."