King of Excellent (according to Scaryduck)

Thursday, December 14

If Beano were real today

I was pondering yesterday. Imagine if Beano was real today, what would happen to the characters...

Dennis the Menace would have an ASBO
Gnasher would have been taken away by the RSPCA and Dennis's parents would have been prosecuted for animal cruelty.
Dennis's unlucky parents were also under observation by social services following allegations his Dad would smack him with a slipper.
Walter the Softy would be popular, all because he's gay.

Baby Face Finlayson would have been taken away by Social Services and fostered by a couple called Ron and Margaret
Roger the Dodger was sentenced to 5 years for fraud. He'd set up his own website from his prison cell, and would get a quality of life better then on the outside world.
Lord Snooty would be the regional chairman of the Young Conservatives.

Minnie the Minx would be a teenage prostitute with a heroin habit.
The Bash Street School would be closed down by Ofsted.
Billy Whizz (interestingly now called Billy Wizz) would be living in Spain after making his fortune as the Amphetamine King of Dundee.

Ballboy would be obese after playing FIFA 07 on his XBOX too much.
Little Plum would be a croupier in a Casino on an Indian Reservation.
Biffo the bear was sent back to the wild by the WWF