King of Excellent (according to Scaryduck)

Thursday, March 29

BT Broadband

And so, DSL filter in one hand, Voyager 105 driver CDROM in the other, I head out today to help someone who's having problems with British Telecom. The fault is simple enough.

"My email's stopped working. Whenever I check for email, I get asked for my password again. I'm sure I'm typing it right, but I cannot retrieve my emails."

Easy Peasy. Yeah, right.

First of all, I try myself. Nope, the password must be wrong. I telnet to her mail server, and get told that email account doesn't exist. She's had it 3 years, most of which time it has worked.

I phone BT. To my pleasant surprise, I get someone English. She checks the account details then proclaims the customer doesn't have broadband.


I explain she has. "I'm looking at it now. I'm connected."

"Are you sure she's not on dialup?"

"At 1.1Meg? I doubt it."

She then does some tests. She puts me on hold. She checks this system, and that system, then comes back with "Nope, she definitely doesn't have broadband."

Meanwhile, I check the user name she's logging on with. ""

I can't believe the account would work off that name, so I try with hers. That also works. For a laugh I try "" which also works. Now BT come back on the line, I explain the customer's not happy. I want a MAC to migrate her to Plus Net. I get handed over to someone in Mumbai, who then argues that I'd be daft to stop paying the £28 per month for broadband, because their quality of service is second to none. I explain what's happened, and in typical fashion she denies that what's happened could have done.

I say to the customer "she's calling me a liar."

Eventually I get the MAC. I phone Plus Net, who do a check on the line. It turns out there had been a fault on the line. The fault (obviously) no longer existed, so they removed the block. I typed in the MAC to migrate, only to be told it wasn't valid.

Just like everything else, eh?