King of Excellent (according to Scaryduck)

Friday, March 7

On goal scoring sports.

I have a dislike for football, rubgy, hockey, basketball, in fact any sport that involves scoring goals at either end of a rectangle. I think this is a deep rooted dislike, going back further then I can remember, but also because of the connotations that go with it that you have to be completely passionate about one team only and no matter how well other teams play, you have the single minded blinkered vision of your team.
Football is disliked because of the attitude of most football fans. "It's the best sport in the world," they'll tell you. "It brings together a camaraderie unlike anything else between you and your mates," is another common comment. It's an excuse to stand around watching 11 blokes play with another 11 blokes and whinge and cry about the smallest thing for the most extortionate amount of money. I can tell you who the strikers are in the England team, but not the defenders. I can also tell you how much they're getting paid. I can't tell you however when they last played and what the score was. This is because it doesn't interest people so much, and so doesn't get as much coverage in the news. For this reason, it is no longer a 'sport.'
Rugby. Rugby is the most brainless (because let's face it, they'd remove each other's on the pitch if they were given the chance) , futile sport ever seen. Living in the land of the maddened, hardened rugby players, I can testify to the fact that a Saturday afternoon whilst the 6 nations is on, and much to my delight, the whole area becomes a ghost town. The pubs meanwhile become testosterone drinking dens, where men prove how good they are by drinking 3 pints solid, smashing the glass onto their own heads, and belching proudly. This is then accompanied by lots of cheering. Meanwhile, the score of the game is forgotten, unless your team wins, in which case it is repeated to every foreigner, be it English, Scottish, Venusian or Borg. Where's the sport in this?
I like American football, to an extent. I use to be passionate about it, but watching the superbowl live and I'd find myself falling asleep after 3 hours. The highlights of a game could be summed up in 5 minutes, which is remarkable when you consider the average game could last for 4 hours. The appeal I suppose to me is that it's such a family orientated spectator sport. You take the whole family along, and are entertained immensely, not just by the sport on the field, but the referee's decisions, the big screens, the pomp and circumstance.
As for things like hockey or basketball. They also have passionate followings. Hockey became really popular in 1988 when England won a gold medal. I doubt it's been shown on TV since. Basketball is the same. No media coverage, and no-one cares about it.

Give me a touring car any day.