King of Excellent (according to Scaryduck)

Tuesday, April 1

It's Official

Obesity and proximity to daffodils has been linked. The plants give off a pollen that induces lethargy in people nearby, meaning that people are more likely to sit around a lot rather then to do something active like a sport or pastime. Scientists at Cardiff University researched this when they realised that the flowering of the daffodil in early spring in the gardens of the Campus led to more students failing exams after the Easter break, and their explanation was more commonly because they "couldn't be arsed."
This would also explain why so many people in Wales are on the sick, workshy, or fat bastards, or all three.

That is all.