King of Excellent (according to Scaryduck)

Monday, April 7

On Facebook

Facebook is by and large a nice idea. Free, it is a great way for old friends and new alike to stay in touch, and has sort of taken off. It is also bloody annoying when it comes to your email inbox, because every application within it, be it being 'poked' or someone writing on your wall (note: Does anyone write on Banksy's wall?) the sodding software must email you to let you know. It also has the annoying habit when you first create the account of asking for your messenger details, so it can import all your existing contacts over. This is done surreptitiously, and only after you've joined do you start getting emails from your friends saying "Why the fuck did you give my email address to facebook? I hate them." Then once you have a list of friends who are happy to know you on there, and one sends you something, facebook then asks if you want to forward this on to everyone else. Everyone else then says "will you stop sending me that fucking email about facebook closing. I've had it 72 times, and don't want it any more."
My facebook entry is less then interesting. I have no picture of me holding a tomato ketchup bottle in the shape of tomato. I list my favourite books and films. I have 2 favourite quotes. My religious views are 'non-descript.' I even asked what car I should buy next, and the general consensus is another Volvo. I am tempted to change myself to a 14 year old girl, just so I get more contact from old perverts pretending to be 15 year old boys.
Now the really interesting thing is I look at a lot of my friends' friends lists. They have everyone in their family. They have brothers, sisters, cousins, aunties, uncles, mothers in law, barristers (you know who you are), the bloke they once met at the Glastonbury festival (you also know who you are). Admittedly I have my father, but that's because he's old, and without me he'd have no friends at all. I would like to have more school friends, but seeing as my school doesn't exist on there, no chance of that.
They call it social networking. I call social networking going to the pub. This is a website equivalent of going to the pub, but without the beer, stimulating conversation, or eyeing up the birds. They should bring on the virtual beer. Oh hang on, that'd only lead to another facebook application emailing me that so-and-so's "bought me a pint, do I wish to buy them one in return?" Maybe that's not such a good idea.