New meanings for names

My father sent me this. I'm not going to bore you with putting them all down on here, and you might want to save the list. So, I've picked out those that are for people that read this. Unfortunately (or fortunately for him) the Yanks haven't heard of Aled, so I can't add my father to the list, and I'm also unique, so I miss out.

Adrian - usually short and very horny, watches cartoons. (oh, how true.)
Sharon - The original bitch queen, uses everyone she meets.
Doug - has a greasy face, drinking problem and farts.
Susan - should shave more often, wears Denim aftershave. Very fertile. (That'll explain Carys)
Alistair - likes being tied up, and really enjoys playing with train sets (that'll explain a lot)
Debbie (Deborah) - Bites the pillow, uses both hands. (is that why she's always up at 6?)
Grant - Short and ugly! but so sweet and you can talk to him about anything. (no mention of a lack of hair)
Dawn - Gets up early, smells of chips.
Richard - can't see his feet as balls are too big (maybe that'll explain the genetics connection)
Kim - wants to be a bloke, drinks like a bloke, farts like a bloke, wears a wig.
Paul - cool, calm and handsome, a quality only found in gays. (no comment)
Carl - horny. bastard, who can't sing.
David - Sensible and works out a lot, loves girls named Florence. (They didn't have Dai)
Please, if I've missed you out, add it to the comments. And have a good weekend.