King of Excellent (according to Scaryduck)

Thursday, October 2

Pet hates...

I thought I'd update my list of pet hates with women, and what I hate so much...

Fake redheads.

You take a perfectly sane, sexy, teenager like Kirsten Dunst, and she decides in her infinite wisdom that red hair is fair more favourable then her long naturally blonde locks.

not even slightly natural, does she now have the sexily flowing locks of Fergie (the princess, not the football manager)? No, she does not.


In the week my sister has gained her third (so she tells me) tattoo, let's take the case for the 'self mutilation and permanent scarring' one stage further. Now, I have to admit, I was tempted. When I was 20. With a small joker on my left shoulder. Where it could be hidden. I know people who've had "Arsenal for the cup" permanently inked into their forearm, for all to see. I have also seen "I went to Southend, and all I got was this stupid tattoo and the clap" but I won't say where... (it was in Southend.)

Body piercing.
Now, don't get me wrong. I like a subtle pierced ear as much as the next person. I have (don't ask) enjoyed the occasional pierced labia (ask your father, kids...) as well. But a face full of ironmongery is not good.

Having a woman who whistles whenever she speaks is not attractive. And having her have immeasurable pleasure from having her nipple have a red hot sterilised needle pushed through it is not only unnatural, but also bordering perverse. And as for the old Prince Albert...