Far flung facebook

More on facebook I'm afraid. I know my father doesn't use it much, and neither does Ricardipus. Pseudonymph, however, lives on it. She must update her status at least, oooooh, 4200 times a day. She now has her son on there, politely requesting if he can be my friend (of course) and to say hi to John for him.
"John, Josh says hi."
"Oh."
I find more and more people coming out of the woodwork, from all angles. I had one girl from school email me, "You're on all my friends lists, but I don't know your name. Should I know you?"
I replied in the positive, telling her my name at school. I also added "You probably wouldn't remember me, but I was the fat nerdy kid that was always in the art block or computer room." She then said "of course I remember you!" and proceeded to tell me what's been going on in her life. I remember her for one thing however, she had a birthday on leapday. I don't remember sharing any lessons with her, I didn't fancy her (one of the few), and that was about it.
I also had someone I last saw nearly 5 years ago track me down. Now I have to admit I did fancy her, but who wouldn't fancy a tall busty blonde who agreed to let you take her to lunch? I have now more worryingly however got customers also appearing on there, and asking me questions about their pc. This is good for business, but not good when I'm trying to chat up the tall busty blonde. And then the old school colleague chimes up with "do you remember that time you hacked all the teacher's details?"
It's only a matter of time until I get the chat windows mixed up, and tell a customer I've always fancied them, tell the old school colleague I have the perfect program for fixing viruses, and worst of all, tell the tall busty blonde that I was a nerd at school, and still am.
It'll all end in tears.