Gaming, anyone?

For those with teenage sons, or anyone else who has a games console at home, here is a beginner's guide to games consoles.

• "I need a wii" - "I'd like Nintendo's latest game console"
• Budget range of games - Below £30
• Sega - Who?
  
• "I really need a wii" - "I'd really like Nintendo's latest game console"
• Xbox/Xbox360 - An excuse to give Mr Gates more of our money.
• Playstation3 - Made by Sony, a mortgage may be required.
  
• "I really really need a wii" - "I'd really really like Nintendo's latest game console"
• "No, I haven't been playing this all night" - "Is it really morning?"
• "I don't want to play outside" - where the sun will instantly burn my skin and my eyes will melt into gelatinous blobs.
  
• "I need a wee, now." - A toilet may be required, or at least a mop.