King of Excellent (according to Scaryduck)

Thursday, October 8

On getting glassed...

Following on from BLS's "40 things," a few people have asked me to explain the reference to eating glass.
When I was very young (about 3 or 4) I would want to grasp everything firmly. This included things in my mouth when it came to drinking. Still to this day I want to bite when I shouldn't. Chewing gum is a no no for me as well, because it makes me want to swallow it as the saliva flows more then freely. My mother had cottoned on to this very early on, and would give me a 70's plastic tumbler to drink from. I seem to remember my favourite was a Wombles one, but in the house it was always there at the dinner table filled with Robinson's Orange. This, however, wasn't always an option, and the most memorable occasion was going for lunch in a cafe on the square in the middle of Brighton's "Lanes." Being given a slim jim glass with coke in it, and the inevitable happened. I sat there, crying, with dangerously sharp shards of glass pretruding from my mouth. I seem to remember the poor staff running around, panicking that something was wrong with the drinking recepticle, whereas my mother told them the truth. Her son had a habit of eating glasses.
Later in life I started to show off my teeth's tensile strength. At about the age of 10, I found I could bite chunks out of coke cans. Many a school lunchtime would be spent showing off my new found talent, and I stood there, chewing away on a chunk of aluminium without getting cut. I have since (you'll be glad to hear) grown up and haven't bitten anything I shouldn't have for nearly 30 years. The incredible thing is I still know how strong my teeth are. I can still open a bottle with them (if need be), and whilst they might be a little more stained then 30 years ago, they're just as strong as they always were. I am now allowed to drink from pint glasses with my father as well, which is always a bonus.