King of Excellent (according to Scaryduck)

Monday, December 21

Two minds

I'm in two minds today as to what to write about. Something funny, namely the toilet habits of an ageing male, or a rant about my bank. So I think I'll choose the rant...

Before I came over to this fair isle, I popped into my bank and asked someone there "Will I be able to use this card in Ireland, because it doesn't work in many cashpoints in this country?"
"Yes of course," they said. "You can always get cashback in a supermarket as well."

No. No I can't.

At Bristol Airport last Wednesday I popped to the Bureau de Change and asked about fees, and considering I didn't have much money then I decided it would be better waiting until I got here.

No. No it wasn't.

We tried a few banks, a few cashpoints (named after the Americanism "ATM". What's a Teller, and why's he automatic?), to no avail. Then, on Friday I was in Tesco and the woman on the checkout was from Reading (Poor cow), and I said about cashback. I could pay for the shopping, I already knew that. She said it shouldn't be a problem.

Yes. Yes it was.

No money. So I phoned up my bank, angling for a fight. "Tough. All you can do is transfer money into someone's account over there," they said. "It'll take 3-5 working days." This means I'll be potless until after Christmas. Will I be in the branch first thing on the Monday after we get home, screaming and shouting?

Yes. Yes I will.

Bankers... Rhyming slang for more than one reason...