King of Excellent (according to Scaryduck)

Friday, February 26

In the news...

Searching for a bloodhound

So, Andy Green, the world's fastest driver, is at it again. The Bloodhound SSC (supersonic car!) is the latest car to go for the land speed record. Well it has been 13 years since the last spectacular attempt that broke the sound barrier. Apparently it runs on Hydrogen Peroxide, so if something goes wrong at least he'll come out blonder. The suit is designed to be fireproof, which is pretty damn pointless if you ask me. Let's face it, it might as well be made of chocolate because if you come a cropper at 1000mph, how fireproof your suit is will be the last of your worries. Getting the medical teams to find your bits would be more of a pressing concern, as they're strewn across the desert floor.

Ice? On a Bridge?

Yes, staggeringly, 12 people have put in claims for the ice falling from the Second Severn Crossing last year. Mind you, more staggeringly, they're denying it's their fault and it was an act of God. And so, to prevent it happening again they've spent a fortune on software from Japan that tells them if there is ice on the bridge. Even I could do that job...
"Hmmm, it's below freezing and this water's on the bridge. Maybe we should beware of ice."

Free cash anyone? 

Yes, that's right. Free cash. A cashpoint decided it was going to do math, multiplying all requested cash by 2. Apparently one guy got an extra £1500 by taking £500 out of 3 accounts and the machine doubled it. Then, Auntie Marianne pointed something out to me. With my luck I'd be there at the right time, have loads of money in my account, and Lloyds Wank would say I can't use my card in the machine.

Unfortunate names

A list of some of the UK's worst names has been compiled. I was disappointed to find no "Richard Head" but there was a "Richard Six" which must be a great chat up line, "The name's Six. Dick Six." I used to work with a "Wayne Kay," which I always considered unfortunate. The funniest mention on the list was a guy who's father was "Albert Hall." Possibly in revenge, he named his son "Jim" so that everytime the teacher asked for his class to get over to the "Gym Hall" he got a beating. Is this funny? I think so.

Have a good weekend y'all.