There was a young lady from ClareYes. Even she knows it's offaly bad, and she was getting down about it. She didn't want to be a munster, so she decided to have a chicken sandwich with her favourite mayo an trim'd all the crusts off. She then went to see her friend, Don Egal, who came up with a proposition for her.
With a most enormous pair
She got a long pin
and stuck it right in,
and with a loud pop found they were nothing but air.
"I want you to kill someone?" Don said.
"Kill? Dare I ask? Kill who?" She enquired
"Kill Kenny," he informed her.
"Can't you ask Ross? Common as he is, he'll get a(gal)way with it."
"But I can't trust him. He's grassed on Tyrone before now, and Aleix swears he'll put him undermeath 6 foot of dirt. Sligo to jail if I'm not careful."
"What about a gun? Will I need Armagh?" she asked.
"That's easy, we'll get Carlo(w) to get one for you. As for the body protection, just shoot him twice. Dublin up always works."
She took a boat, made from an upturned Ford (so it was a (w)exford) Focus that had been a limo in a previous life (yes, a Water Ford, and yes a long Ford), and then decided she didn't want to kill Kenny, so she went on the run. She Cavan and moved to London, Derry her boyfriend came with her, and they lived happily ever after.
Just county on me...