The return of the beginner's guide to speaking Irish.

Here, on the Friday before my long awaited sojourn to London, is a beginner's guide to catchphrases that might be useful in Ireland.

• An Ríocht Aontaithe? Ba mhaith linn aon rud a dhéanamh leo ar bith. - The United Kingdom? We want nothing to do with them whatsoever.
• Ar mhaith leat teacht chuig an teach tábhairne? - Fancy coming to the pub? 
• Níl, níl againn ceamaraí luais. Just póilíneachta scoite le luas gunnaí - No, we don't have speed cameras. Just discrete police with speed guns.
• Ó breathnú, cuideachta lena socraítear na bóithre. - Oh look, a company fixing the roads.
• Cé mhéad??? - How much???
• am dúnta? Cén t-am dúnta? - Closing time? What closing time?   
• An féidir leat dom bpointe is gaire duit Centra / Supermacs? Can you point me to the nearest Centra/Supermacs?
• Spéartha mhaith! An carr's annamh beagnach. Tá sé beagnach 10 bliain d'aois! - Good Heavens! This car's almost rare. It's nearly 10 years old!
• Ryanair go hiontach ar fad. Más mian leat a eitilt go Baile Átha Cliath. - Ryanair are great. If you want to fly to Dublin.
• Ní Father Ted greannmhar. Father Ted isn't funny.
• OK, deoch amháin níos mó ansin. - Ok, just one more drink then.