King of Excellent (according to Scaryduck)

Monday, March 28

On name calling

Isn't it amazing how different your name can become, depending on where you are? I know that's not very clear, but I think you'll understand what I mean. Take for example Essex. Your typical Essexman doesn't like to cope with words of more than one syllable, so names are shortened. But in Essex they then like to make it more pleasing to the tongue and add a 'z' sound to the end of the name. You know the sort of thing. Sharon becomes Shaz, Barry becomes Baz, Brian becomes Brize, Paul becomes Paulz (!).
Scotland, with the risk of sounding like a Billy Connelly skit, would appear to like surnames as first names, and visa versa. Stewart is a surname, Donald is a first name, Finlay is both, Sharon is none.
And over here in Ireland, much to my joy, they have an even better trick. They take the first name (or first half), and add a 'y' on the end. So, most famously, Padraig becomes Paddy. TDT's brother is Iany (champion loft faller, 2009). Edward becomes Eddie, Fergus becomes Fergie, Hugh becomes Hughie and Niall becomes Nially. You can be sure that Kim would become Kimmy and Erin wouldn't become Erinie.
And yes, I have gone from Richard to Rik, but not for Essex. I have also had to take the moniker of Rikky for those that don't know any better. But it could be worse. TDT's Mum (she of the best cup of tea in the world) has the best way of getting my attention, calling me Roxx, Snoopy, Rixx, Nixx and "ye bollocks." All of which seem to work.