So there we were, quarter to 10 last night, and enjoying the final of Hells Kitchen (Yay Nona!) when there was a loud hammering at the front door. The urgency of the hammering meant I leapt up like a shot, and raced into the hall, ready to help someone in need. I opened the front door, and looked out. The porch security light was on, but no one was there. I looked down, and imagine my surprise when I see a fox trying to get into the house.
"Get away," I scream, "Get out of here."
"Go on! What the..." I puzzle. I thought he was staring at Shallot, and was looking for Shallot down by my feet. He was stood, motionless, didn't even flinch when I shooed him away. Then I noticed, he was standing on a log. The link wasn't tenable, it hadn't computed, he wasn't standing on a log; he was nailed to the log. Just at that moment, a howl of laughter came from behind a car across the road. Suddenly, laughter appeared all around, and I realised I'd been had. I looked at the taxidermied Basil, now under his owner's arm, and began to laugh (more in relief) with them. Meanwhile, Jamie the owner, was propping himself up against the wall, trying not to collapse in helpless laughter. Everyone was watching out, obviously previous victims themselves, ready to see my reaction. I'm guessing I excelled their expectations. I have to admit, looking back, it was very funny. Next time someone knocks however, I'm not so sure I'll be so wound up...
Donald Trump FACTS!
11 months ago