King of Excellent (according to Scaryduck)

Monday, June 16


As I now well know, eyes are pretty important in life. Possibly the most important sense, sight is certainly the hardest to go without as I found out last week. Now the thing is, since last week, everyone's started telling me stories about their eyes, and how they've gone wrong. I wouldn't mind so much, if it weren't for the fact I hate anything to do with them.
It all started with Adrian reminding me of a scene in Minority Report where Tom Cruise (he of the "short actor's guild of weird religions") had his eyes transplanted. Then today I had a phone call from Debbie talking about the fact she wants to have her lenses replaced. I'm now feeling green. I then mention about getting eyes lasered. This, in my opinion, is as far from natural as I can imagine. My mate Carlo in Bristol had his eyes lasered, and he swears by it. I, meanwhile, remember that they have to scrape the first layer from the front of your eyeball before they can laser it. All this is making me feel undecidedly queasy, but in one of those "I wish I hadn't done that" moments, I had a look on youtube. I found this. This is probably not safe for work, and I'd almost certainly have a bucket handy. Meanwhile, I thank the Lord that 7 days after I was unable to see, my eyesight seems to be back to normality.

I still feel ill though, but now for the wrong reason!