King of Excellent (according to Scaryduck)

Thursday, June 5

On emails being funny

I first used an email system back in 1994. My email address was (it doesn't work any more) and I would log on and check it with my Miracom 1200bps modem. All the emails were restricted to 10k in length, so attachments weren't possible. This meant that the most common thing you had were emails that were 'funny' or spreading 'the word'.
Now, over the years, more and more people have got access to emails. Each and every one of my customers has my email address, and a small minority of these customers think that because it's the first time they've seen the email about boycotting Esso or Shell, this will genuinely reduce the cost of petrol. I still have an email along these lines quoting how petrol was a truly disgraceful 59p a litre, and by boycotting these garages we can get it back to a more civilised 54p.
I have also had a chuckle at the *genuine* letters to councils about certain domestic malfunctions like the woman who needs her back passage unblocked or the person who wishes to remove their drawers in the kitchens. I have seen the remarkable ice sculptures, and the video of the dog that skateboards. I have removed any trace of a file in Windows following the advice that it's a virus, whereas in reality it's an essential part of windows networking. I have diligently avoided any emails with 'I Love you' in the subject header. I have forwarded my email address to all my friends so that Bill Gates will give me a fraction of his vast fortune, and I have filled out the memes that ask me what I last ate and whether I'm sweet or savoury.
Quite frankly, I'm fed up with these emails. And yet, I still get them when I ask people not to send them. I've seen them before, but because they haven't, they must be new to me. I now have a deliberate spam filter, to remove these emails.
Am I turning into a grumpy old man?