King of Excellent (according to Scaryduck)

Tuesday, September 9

In the news...

Three guilty of bomb conspiracy

I knew the mobile phone company was criminally expensive, shit service and other crimes, but I didn't know they'd stoop to terrorism.

'Dozens' of under-16s have STIs

Blimey, no wonder there's a world shortage of Subarus

Depressed mum choked after meal

Probably just got her Three phone bill.

Chaos at £20,000 petrol giveaway

Well these Subarus aren't cheap to run...

and finally,

African immigrants riot in Spain

for having dodgy Three contracts, or not enough fuel for their Subarus.